youdhveer wrote:Pata
nahin mujhe Iss Snakemaster Bro ke Dimension mein hasi nahin
aayi...........Pehle toh mujhe kahani ko samjhne mein dimaag lagana
pada...........Phir kai chote-chote dialogue main pehle bhi Heroes-harsh
mein padh chuka hoon..........Shayad isliye mujhe mazaa nahin
aaya.........Comedy bahut kum lagi mujhe isme.

Oho,
Yodha BRO...Aapko hasi nahin aayi. Aur, aapko Intelligent Comedy ko
samajhane ke liye aapka dimaag lagana pada. Main maafi maangta hun Sir
Jee ki Snakemaster Bro ko ek Ad mein Intelligent Comedy use karni padi.
Pehle, batana tha ki Yodha BRO aapko dimaag lagana pasand nahi hai. Ye,
lo hum abhi iss gap ko khatam kar dete hain.
Lo, bhaiya pehli
line mein jis dimension mein Nagraj aur Doga pahunche huye hain wahan
cheekh - chidappa faila huya hai. Ab, iss mein to kuch samjhane waali
baat lag nahi rahi.
Nagraj -
Kunal, uth kar dekhiyo to zara ki hum kis dimension mein aa gaye hain.
Har taraf roshni ke dhamake fut rahe hain, cheekh - chidappa faila huya
hai...Uff! Lagta hai goliyaan bhi chal rahi hain. Meri, to aankhein
chundhiyan rahi hain. Mujhe apni godi mein chupa lo kahin pichli baar ki
tarah hum, 'Jamaican Footballer Squad' ko unki Cheerleaders ka jhund
samajh kar Chupan - Chupayi karne andar na ghus jaayein aur wo humara
Dhakka - Mukki aur Kho - Kho na kar dein. Shayad kuch kuttey bhi bhaunk
rahe hain.
Doga par jo picture ban rahi
hai, uske liye Kunal Kapoor ko choose kiya gaya hai. Agar, aapko laga
main Kunal Khemu ki baat kar raha hun to mujhe pata nahi tha. Zaahir
hai, Nagraj apni chaaron taraf ke environment ko dekh kar seham gaya
hai. Nagraj ki ek popular trait hai ki wo kisi bhi cheez se darta nahi
hai aur ye trait hum har comic mein dekhte rehte hain. Aur, yahan to
Nagraj, Doga ki godi mein chupane ki baat kar raha hai. Rishi ke shaap
ke karan, Nagraj aur Doga tarah - tarah ki dimensions se hokar guzar
rahe hain aur unki pichli dimension mein dono Africa ya Jamaica ki
waadiyon mein pahunch gaye honge jahan wo kisi Jamaican Footballer Team
ko unke kaalepan ke kaaran unki Cheerleaders ka jhund samajh kar chedne
ghus gaye aur baad mein dono ka, Dhakka - Mukki aur Kho - Kho ho gaya.
Uske, baad jaise hi Nagraj kehta hai ki, 'Shayad kuch kuttey bhi bhaunk
rahe hain'...To, Doga uth khada huya. Ab, chunki Doga kutton ka humdard
hai to wo unke shabd ka prayog hote sunkar uth khada hota hai.
Doga
- Nagraj, lagta hai unhone ret ke inn dheron mein water missiles bhi
chupa rakhin hain........Kuttey, accha to ye teri kartut hai.
Municipality Vibhag ka khamba samajh kar mujh par hi dhaar ki barsaat
kar di. Mere, saamne khade hokar, 'Hiss - Fuss' kar. Two - In - One
karne ki badi khujli lagi rehti hai na, ab aage aa kar Solo ban. Tere
paas to kaafi Alter Egos aur Identities hain, ab kar unka
use....Dhvansak Sarp maar na zameen par, ret pighla na...Ya,
Sheetnaagkumar ka use kar isse jama de....Tu to flagbearer hai na...Ab,
jaa aage jaa kar RC ka jhanda foreign maayia mein pavesth kar ke,
Swaragiya Jagran Hare The ban.....
Doga
khada huya to Nagraj ne uss par Su - Su kar diya, jabki Doga pehle soch
raha tha ki villains ne ret mein water missiles, waigarah kuch chupa
rakha hai jo Doga ke khade hone se activate ho gayi aur uski dhaar, Doga
ke pairon par jaa padi. Ek minute mein hi Doga ko asliyat samajh mein
aa gayi aur usne Nagraj ke karnamon ka pardafash kar diya. Ab, Nagraj
har baar Dhruva ke saath 'Two - In - One' Issues karta rehta hai, ab
Doga Nagraj ko dhamka raha hai ki , 'Kaka ab Solo kar! Yahan jama apni
dhakkadi'. Nagraj ki Nagayan, WTS, N.N.N., etc ka Doga mazak uda raha
hai. Aur, ab Dhvansak Sarp maar zameen par kar na unka prayog, har comic
mein to tujhe wahin yaad aate hain. Nahi, to Sheetnagkumaar ko bula,
sabse pehle to apne ussi chahete ko bulata hai. Aur, Nagraj to RC waalon
ka Flagbearer hai jo har saal har Country ka Tour laga kar wahan India
ka jhanda gaad aata hai. Ab, Doga usse aur dhamka raha hai ki, 'Jaa,
Jagran (Nagraj ka ulta karo to wo Jagran banta hai!) ab iss Foreign
dharti par jhanda gaad aur apne parkhacche uda!'
Nagraj
- Doga main aage chala to jaata lekin pichli kai dimensions mein
villains se lad - lad kar meri Mahanagar waali laatein hi chali gayi
hain. Aisa lag raha hai jaise kisi ne baans par kharbooja taang diya ho.
Tumne to, "Nishachar" mein wo drum utha liya tha, mujhe bhi utha
lo!!!!!!!
Doga - Kyun? Ab, Dhruva nahi hai chipkane ko, dono ne
hairstyle bhi same - same design ke laga rakhe hain. Kaka, Dhruva,
'Genius' tha isiliye tera zeher pi kar Sri Devi - Devi ho gaya. Main,
Genius nahi hun.
Nagraj - Doga apne Suraj ko mat jaagayo. Main maanta hun ki tum hi 450 kg ke faulad ho........
Bhau - Bhau...Gutur Goon....GRRRRRRRR....WUFFF - WUFFF....Kayaun - Kayaun............
Ab,
Kaka ye to tumhe samajh mein aa kar hasi aa jaani chahiye thi. Mindless
Humor ka itna shaunk hai to Harshes padh lo, unn mein bhara pada hai!

Har, dimensions ko paar kar - kar ke Nagraj ki Mahanagar waali taangein
chali gayin. Jab, Nagraj ki Mahanagar waali series chalni band ho gayin
thin aur zada kuch content nahi mil raha tha to, 'Hari Maut' ke saath
WTS shuru ho gayi thi jis mein Sukad sa Nagraj baans jaisa lag raha tha
jis par kharbooja taang diya ho. Ab itne Tour par jaa kar Nagraj ki wohi
haalat ho gayi hai. Doga ne, 'Nishachar' mein Climax mein Drum utha kar
Nishachar ko de maara tha, to jab Doga itna bhaari drum utha sakta hai
to ek sukad Nagraj kitne kg ka hoga! Phir Doga Nagraj ko aur taane maar
raha hai ki ab Dhruva saath mein nahi hai to mujh se chipak le kyunki ek
Dhruva hi mahaan pahuncha huya rocket scientist, 'Genius' (Genius par
attyachar!

) hai jo tera zeher pi - pi kar Sri Devi ban gaya (Haan, to Sridevi ne
Nagin ya Nagina mein kaam nahi kiya tha...To, yahan Sridevi ki bhoomika
Dhruva nibha raha hai! ). Ab 'Raat ka Rakshak' jab Genius hai hi nahi
to Nagraj ka zeher yahan kaam nahi karne waala. Ab, Nagraj Doga ki
tareef karne ki koshish karta hai, 'Doga apne Suraj ko mat jagayo'. Iss
line ke do pehlu hain. Ek to ye ki zadatar baar Comics mein, Suraj hi
aisi mazak bhari baatein karta hai aur doosra ye ki Suraj ke jagane se
subah hoti hai aur logon ki susti utarti hai jabki Nagraj yahan Doga ko
apne Suraj ko sulate rehne ke liye keh raha hai (So Ja Doga! )....'Main
maanta hun ki tum hi 450 kg ke faulad ho', Ab batayo Kaka 450 kg ka
ekmatr faulad kaun hai?....Inspector Steel...Ab Steel to Nagraj ke saath
hai nahi to Nagraj Doga par extra charbi aur rokhad daal kar usse
machine bana raha hai. Ki tabhi Kutton ki toli ki awaz aane lagti hai.
Iss se ekmatr sujhav to yahin hai ki kuch kuttey Nagraj aur Doga ki
taraf aane waale hain.
Nagraj -
.......doga, lagta hai aage chupe villains ne humpar doggy chod diye
hain, dekhiyo kahin unke collars par bomb na bandhe hon....Apne,
Kunal...Ahm! Apne, andar ke doggy ko haddi khila kar batayo Doga, kuttey
kitni paas aa gaye?
Doga - Chad gayi na Nagu ki garmi tere
dimaag pe...Ab sir pe baandh ke ghum Naagfani Sarp.....Jagmag Sarp chod
na.......Fu - Fu kar ke chod Funkaar........Ab, Icchadhari kanon mein
badalna band kar, ye to chote - chote puppy hain.
Nagaraj - Shukr hai tumne sahi time par bata diya main bhi apni Naagsena bulwane waala tha.
Doga - Mujhe aona grenade waste karne par majboor mat kar.
Nagraj
- Doga inn puppyion ke thode se baal ukhaad lo, waapis apni dimension
mein pahunch kar sabko dikha kar chidayenge ki hum yation ki sena se lad
kar aaye hain.
Doga - Ab mujhe tumhara asli chehra dikh gaya, Nagraj!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nagraj - Mahanagar waala ya World Tour waala? Ek Narak Nashak Nagraj bhi hai...Wo, latest waala hai...........
Lo
ab Nagraj ko pata hai ki Doga kutta fauj ka rakhwala hai to Nagraj,
Doga ko bol raha hai ki, 'Bhaiye, tu unhe rok, kuch haddi - waddi
khila...Kya pata villains ne unn par baandh kar hum par Bomb waiagarh na
chod diye hon!' Aur Doga usse batata hai ki, 'Tere upar bhi Nagu ka
Filmy Chaska chadh gayi. Ye James Bond ki picture nahi hai Kaka...Ye, to
chote - chote puppy hain!' Chunki zadatar Army Movies mein joki bade
budget par banayi jaati hain kutton ke upar bomb baandh kar unhe
istemaal kiya jaa sakta hai. Lekin, J.P. Dutta ki ye dimension mein
Dutta Sahab ke paas budget kum hai isiliye wo chote - chote puppy
istemaal kar rahe hain. Ab Nagraj ko dekho...Har, comic mein villain
baad mein aata hai Naagsena ka Frame Shot sabse pehle Shri Ganesh ho
jaata hai. To Nagraj phir dikhane laga ki main kitna pahuncha huya hun,
'Inn par main Naagsena chod kar kaabu kar leta!' Doga ko pata hai ki
Nagraj ne kiya - dhara kuch hai nahi, 'To agar Nagraj haankta gaya to
Doga ne apna grenade istemaal kar ke use uda dena hai (Aisi hi tactic
Dhruva ne Vidhvans mein prayog ki thi! ). Ab Nagraj ke upar uska
Superhero waala rang aur chad gaya ki, 'Doge inn puppys ke thode se baal
kaat lete hain. Baad mein apni sahi waali dimension mein pahunch kar
sabko dikhayenge ki maine Lead mein reh kar kitne villains ko patkhani
de maari!' Aur lo Doga ko pata chal gaya ki ab tak har comic mein Nagraj
kya karta raha hai. Aur Nagraj ke itne chehron mein se usne apne teen
bade waale saamne bole hain. Kaka ye itni bhi Intelligent Dose nahi thi.
Nagraj, puppiyon ke baal todne laga ki saamne se unki taraf shor - sharabe ki awazein aane lagin.
Doga
- Hoshiyaar!!!!!!!!!Lagta hai hum Pakistan ya Afghanistan ki territory
mein aa gaye hain. Saamne se suicide bombers ka jhund aata maloom ho
raha hai. Offo!!!! inn puppys ke to daant bhi theek dhang se nahi uge.
Nagraj ab tum hi kuch tandav karo.
Nagraj ki kenchuli utar gayi.
Doga
- Beda Gark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!India ki North Territories ke aage to main aaj
tak gaya nahi, warna Urdu ya Afghani bol kar hi samjha leta. Pakistan
mein bhi Mohar Singh ko bhej diya tha...........YA ALLAH REHAM KAR, iske
aage ka Adrak Chacha ke dua waale account se utha le.
Ab
unki taraf shayad dimensions ke kuch villains ne halla bol diya aur
Doga ko lag gaya ki shayad wo iss baar Pakistan ya Afghanistan ki
dimension mein pahunch gaye hain aur unn par Suicide Bombers ke daste ne
hamla kar diya hai. Ab chunki wahan sunsaan retele illake mein koi
kuttey to hai nahi to Doga unn puppys ka istemaal karne se to raha jinki
teeth development bhi nahi huyi hai, 'Ab Nagraj tu hi kar kuch Tandav'
(Lo, Tandav ka promotion ho gaya. Ab kar le koi saanp - vaanp chod. Ret
mein se naye saanp bula! ) Aur issi ke saath Kaka Ji ki kenchuli hi
utar gayi. Ab bechara Doga bhi kya kare India ki North Territories ke
aage bande ne koi goli - voli nahi chodi to usse Afghani waigarah ki kya
knowledge aur to aur 'Pakistan Zindabad' mein bhi Mohar Singh ko bhej
diya tha (Mohar Singh ki aadat hai...Har doosri - teesri comic mein Doga
ban kar khud ko highlight karwata phirta hai!

), ab Doga ko koi prathna bhi nahi aati, Adrak Chacha har Comic mein,
'Ya Allah Reham Kar' bol kar apni duty nibha dete hain. To bas Doga ko
iss line ke aage kuch aata - jaata nahi.
Jhund thoda aur paas aa gaya.
Doga
- Inke chehre safed lag rahe hain, beech - beech mein ek - do saavle
bhi dikh rahe hain, height bhi choti hai kahin Soviet Russia ki
dimension to nahi. Nagraj, tum to World Tour par jaate rehte ho, unhe
kuch bol kar rukwayo............
Nagraj - SAAVDHAAN! MEIN
KAMF......HAIL HITLER....CHAPPA CHAPPA CHARKHA
CHALE....RUSSIA....BELARUS.....UKRAINE....KAZAKHSTAN.....KYRGYZSTAN....RAJASTHAN....HALLA
BOL.....DHAN - DHANA - DHAN - DHAN - DHANA - DHAN - DHAN - DHANA -
DHAN, BAJENGE DHOL.......KARTA JAA GOAL PE
GOAL........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doga apna khanjar utha kar Nagraj ke pet mein ghopne laga.
Nagraj - Ye kya kar rahe ho Doga?
Doga - Tere shalkon par Ajanta aur Ellora Caves ki khudai kar raha hun.
Wo
villains ki battalion thodi paas aayi to Doge ne dekha ki ye to gore -
gore lag rahe hain beech - beech mein thode se saavle bhi hain joki baad
mein pata lagta hai ki apne Bollywood ke superstars ke Baby versions
hain. To Nagraj to World Tour par nikalta rehta hai, Russia bhi gaya
hoga aur lo Nagraj ne bol di Russian. Beech mein Hitler ka naam lekar
Germany/Nazism ko promote kar diya, Russia ke kuch parts ke naam le
diye, aur apni Narak Nashak Nagraj waali Tagline, 'Halla Bol' bol kar
'Goal' ka gaana gaa diya (Goal ka gaana, 'Halla Bol' se hi shuru hota
hai!). Ab Doga se bardasht nahi huya to usne apne pair par bandhe
khanjar ko utha kar Nagraj ko ghonp diya par Kake ne itni powers ikkthi
kar rahin hain ki usse koi phark hi nahi padta to Kaka ho gayi na Hare
Shalkon par Ajanta aur Ellora Caves ki hoarding!
Wo jhund, Nagraj aur Doga ke saamne aa kar khada ho gaya.
Doga - Ye, to bacche hain.
Nagraj - Ye Raj Kids Series ke liye audition dene aaye hain kya?
"O Uncles! Hum yahan par shooting kar rahe hain aur aapne humara scene kharab kar diya. Ye, Ramsey Brothers ka set nahi hai!!!!"
Doga
- Inki, shaklein to dekhi huyi lag rahe hain. Ye sab to Bollywood ke
Superstars hain par inke kad chote kaise ho gaye. Kaun se protein ki
kami ho gayi inn mein?
Nagraj - Doga, mujhe inn se introduce karayo na. World Tour ke kaaran main zadatar foreign filmon ke stars mein lokpriya hun.
Doga
- Pooja Bhatt hai tu! Ye, Baby Sanjay Dutt hai aur saath mein Babys
Sunil Shetty, Sunny Deol, Jackie Shroff, Akshay Khanna, Ajay Devgan,
Kulbhushan Kharbanda, Abhishek Bachchan, Sanjay Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan,
etc hain. Aur, wo jo side mein designer hairstyles mein khade lollipop
munh mein daale khade hain wo Baby Sonu Nigam aur Baby Anu Mallik hain.
Nagraj - Doga wo kaala sa hubshi baccha kaun hai?
Doga - Accha, wo........Wo Baby Manoj Bajpayi hai.
Ab
wo battalion unke saamne aa kar khadi ho gayi aur lo ye to, 'Kad Chota
Rang Saavle' waali baat ho gayi. Chunki Doga ab Bollywood mein entry
maar raha hai to usse inn sabki theek se knowledge hai (Waise, bhi Doga
kaafi baar Salman Khan, Aishwarya Rai, Amitabh Bachchan aur Abhishek
Bachchan se Wafa Series mein mil chuka hai! ), to Doga sab Superstars ko
acchi tarah pehchanta hai aur Nagraj ko laga ki ye sab bacche shayad
uske paas ab Vacant ho chuki Kids Series ke audition ke liye aaye honge.
Nagraj ko kuch knowledge waigarah to hai nahi to patthe ne ye dikha
diya ki World Tour ke kaaran sirf Hollywood, Japanese, Chinese, etc hi
superstars usse jaante hain aur Doga ne usse Bhatt Camp ka member bana
diya (Joki zadatar baar Foreign Pictures ka Om Bhatt Swaha karte rehte
hain! ) Doga ne sab Babas se Babys ban chuke Heroes ka intro diya aur
apne Manoj Bajpayi joki zadatar ke mukaable thode zada saavle hain unka
bhi kalyan kar diya.
Doga ke chup hote hi Baby Superstars ne naachna shuru kar diya.
Babies
- Sandheshe Aate Hain, Hume Tadpate Hain......Ke Ghar Kab
Aayoge!!!!!!!!...........Ke Tum Bin Ye Ghar....Soona -
Soonaaaaaaaaaaaa.......................
Doga - SATYANASH! Hum
J.P. Dutta ki dimension mein aa gaye hain jahan Ramsey Brothers jitna
budget hone ke kaaran Bollywood ke sab Superstars, Baby bane shooting
kar rahe hain....Mujhe to laga tha Anurag Kashyap ki koi Thriller mein
na pahunch gaye hon............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lo,
aa gaya Climax....J.P. Dutta ki Border unki sabse zada popular picturon
mein se ek hai aur main chahta to Refugee ya L.O.C. Kargil ke gaane bhi
use kar sakta tha par nahi! Ab Doga ko pata chala ki wo J.P. Dutta ki
dimension mein aa gaye hain jis mein Dutta ka budget cut hokar Ramsey
Brothers jitna pahunch gaya hai. Majboori mein wo sab Superstars ke Baby
versions use kar rahe hain.
Ab lo laga lo dimaag. Samajh lo Intelligent Comedy! Roko apni hassi. Snakemaster BRO. Jiska ek asli naam bhi hai!